Stop me before I bid again!

You see, doc, nobody told me when I started smoking a pipe that it was addictive. I don't mean the nicotine–that's bad enough, but I can live with it. But what I didn't realize was the danger of the overwhelming obsession with collecting pipes.

I bought my first pipe a couple of months ago. It was a nice Savinelli bent billiard. I thought $80 was a reasonable price, especially when my local pusher^h^h^h^h^h^h tobaconnist threw in $20 worth of his own blends, and let me have my choice of which ones I wanted. (Boy, is that Sierra Truffle ever good! But that's another story.)

Then I read on ASP that it's a good idea to have a pipe for every day of the week, so you can let each one dry out before smoking it again. So it was back to Tobacco Road (my B&M supplier). This time it was a Peterson Shannon. I'd guess it's a bent apple. Again, a decent price. And naturally I had to buy a new tobacco to go with it. C&D Bayou Morning Flake did the trick.

As time went on, I seemed to have gotten my cravings under control. I was starting to feel like a normal human being again. But then I made my first mistake: I looked at e-Bay for pipes. All of my resolutions went out the window. I found myself bidding on some pipes. But what was even worse, was I started winning!

So now I've bought two new pipes and it looks as if I'm the low bidder on 3 more. My friends are beginning to suspect I'm a serial bidder.

Is there any hope for me, doctor?

Somebody, anybody, please! STOP ME BEFORE I BID AGAIN!!

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